Cloud's Diary
by Ryu-bear
Summary: Aerith why do I need this stupid thing! It's annoying and I don't like to write!" Yaoi/smut


Hello

As you can see this is a Final Fantasy VII fanfiction. I am currently playing the game over again and I decided that it might be fun to write a fic about it. At first I was just going to write it in third person about certain events in the game and tie it all together. Then inspiration hit me! I decided to write the fic in first person which then turned into a "diary" that Cloud might be writing in during his journey. I really hope this idea hasn't been done before. :/ Someone tell me if it has!

Warnings: Yaoi and probably smut later on; language of course. Also I'm not perfect. So, dialogue may not exactly match up with the games. I will also probably alter things about the game. Remember this is a fanfiction, so don't be all nazi on me! Thank you

Also helpful criticism is nice. Just try not to tear down my writing and stuff completely.

Cloud's Diary

Entry One

Xmonth/Xday/Xyear

"_Why don't you settle down and find a nice, older woman that can take care of you?"_

"_Because…The truth is I…"_

That's what I dreamt this morning. After I told Aerith (A girl I just met a day or so ago mind you) my little story she decided on her own to buy me a journal to write all of my thoughts and dreams in; like a diary I guess. She says it would be "cleansing" for my soul. I don't really understand anything that woman says. I guess she's right though; I do need some healing or something. Tifa worries about me constantly I know…

In fact she probably thinks I'm dead. After all, she did watch me fall from that reactor and I haven't had a chance to go back to the Slums; which I assume is where Barret and she went off to. I hope they made it out alright.

Anyway, back to my dream. I was lying on my bed in the house I had grown up in located at Nibelhiem. My mother was messing around at the stove with dinner I guess. She seemed happy enough.

"All the girls must be crazy about you…" I could see the corner of her smile as I lay back on the bed I had missed so much.

"Not really…" I closed my eyes. "They're more interested in Sephiroth then they are of me." I mumbled keeping a blank expression so as not to let any emotion set through.

I can't remember what came between then and…

"Why don't you settle down and find a nice, older woman that can take care of you?" She bent over to take out something that had been cooking for a while.

I opened my eyes again. "Because…The truth is I…" And then I woke up. I don't know what I was about to say. I can't remember and I'm pretty sure my dream was actually a memory. My memory is distorted. It has been ever since that time when…When Sephiroth went mad.

Ugh, I don't want to go into that. I doubt I'll take this stupid thing with me, so I really don't feel like putting something down in here personal in case I do just leave it here or something. It's weird that I feel better after writing in this stupid thing, though. Even trying to write down what happened and all that is hard to do. I guess I'm just fucked up?

I'm going to have to sneak out tonight. I don't have time to put up with Aerith. This job…It's dangerous. I know I said I would be her bodyguard, but I'm not going to put her into an even more dangerous situation. I know, I'm a nice guy, right? I wish. I'm really not actually. I guess I'm more anti-social then anything else, but it's better that way!

Why am I writing so much? Maybe it's because I'm trying not to sleep? I don't know. I'm not this talkative in real life. Maybe that's why. Maybe this is a good way of getting my thoughts out there without having to keep everything to myself.

Hm. . . It's getting late. I wonder if Aerith would still be awake right now.

God damn it. She's still awake! I tried sneaking past her bedroom and I guess she heard my door open.

"What are you doing still awake? We're getting an early start tomorrow, so you should rest up!" All of this said in her nice cheery voice. So, here I am again stuck in their guest bedroom writing in this stupid thing. Damn. She's a woman so why the hell is she still awake?!

Never mind that. Tifa is as sturdy as I am, but I mean Aerith is more feminine then her. The female gender confuses me. I should just stop trying to understand them.

Hm. I should check my stash. I'm pretty sure I have everything I need and Aerith's mom just loaded me down with food too. Not that I have a long and far journey. I guess she wanted me to have a home cooked meal. I haven't had one of those in a while; makes me miss the good ole days.

I remember when I was a kid just how much I wanted to be in SOLDIER. I was innocent then and didn't realize how corrupt Shinra and the rest of them were. I wanted to be like Sephiroth. I wanted to be famous and have kids look up to me. Tifa and I were the best of friends. We made a lot of promises and we dreamed of a bright future.

Nibelhiem was a safe place. Nice and quiet where we knew no less of the world. People at that time trusted Shinra because Shinra knew how to manipulate people all over the globe. The newspapers glorified SOLDIER and the turks. We were all naïve and we paid greatly for their trickery.

I regret ever looking up to that man.

Alright it's almost an hour later since my first attempt to sneak out. Let's hope I can actually get out without being noticed. Surely she's asleep by now?

-Fin


End file.
